Guideline To Living With The Avengers Part II
by szynka2496
Summary: Now including Peter Parker! After my unfortunate accident where I lost the first guideline, Fury made me re-do the whole guideline. When will he understand that no one is going to follow these rules? Signed Jackie Walker. Rated T for language and other stuff. SEQUEL TO GUIDELINE TO LIVING WITH THE AVENGERS
1. Chapter 1

**Heya guys, welcome to the sequel from Guideline to Living with the Avengers :D I already started to work on this one a long time ago. Technically I could just continue the old one, but since I'm throwing Peter into the guideline too, I thought it would be better to start it a new :P**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC Jackie Walker**

* * *

Rule #1

Don't suggest that Peter and Steve can form a Spandex-hero-club

(Me when they both made fun of my oversized hoodies)

(Tony supported me with that idea)

(He said he would sponsor the club)

oOoOoOo

Rule #2

And Thor and Tony aren't allowed to form a Battle-Armor-Club

(And no, Bruce Banner isn't going to be your mascot)

(Neither am I)

(Or Loki for that matter)

oOoOoOo

Rule #3

Don't squash spiders in front of Peter

(He will have that shocked look on his face first)

(Which then turns into a glare)

(You don't want him to look at you with that glare)

oOoOoOo

Rule #4

The science lab is strictly off limit

(Unless you want to see some genius brains at work)

(Really, since their newest team addition)

(There are constantly explosion noises coming from the lab)

(Why are they all still alive?)

("We're too stubborn to die!")

oOoOoOo

Rule #5

Don't swap the coffees with tea

(The Avengers need their morning coffee to survive the day)

(Tea isn't really the best thing to keep them awake)

(Tony's suggestion was to drink alcohol every morning)

(I just threw a rum bottle after him)

oOoOoOo

Rule #6

Speaking of tea, DON'T TOUCH MY TEA

(If you value your life, don't)

(They are MY tea)

(MINE)

oOoOoOo

Rule #7

Don't let Peter make a giant spider web

(I dare him to do that on the door to Loki's room)

(Loki looked funny sticking on that web)

(Especially when he was wearing that helmet)

("Oh look, Peter, the web caught a bug!")

oOoOoOo

Rule #8

Tony, Bruce, Peter, SPEAK ENGLISH!

(And keep your scientistic half shut!)

(They did that on purpose to annoy us all)

(So Steve, Thor, Natasha, Clint and I started to talk in Shakespeare language)

(Science vs. Shakespeare)

(We even kept the fight going on during meetings)

(Can't say that Fury was impressed)

(He's just jealous that he can't speak any of those languages)

oOoOoOo

Rule #9

Don't tell Thor that flipping the bird to someone is a way to show your affection

(Of course he believed that)

(And flipped the bird to Loki every time he saw him)

(Clint gave me props up for that one)

(Until Thor flipped the bird to Jane)

oOoOoOo

Rule #10

Don't throw random bachelor parties

(Natasha and Pepper weren't amused when we threw one for Clint and Tony)

(Well it was funny)

(Until they threw one for Peter)

(Something about "Treat Jackie well. She actually never wanted to get married")

* * *

**So yeah, the first ten rules :P Hope you all enjoyed it ^^ revieeeeew please :)**

**link to cover can be found on my profile :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for all the reviews, faves and alerts, it makes me really happy to know that people are also following the sequel :)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC Jackie Walker**

* * *

Rule #11

Don't carry a skull with you and keep talking to it

(Shakespeare reference)

(I think)

(It was fun when I took it to a meeting)

(And keep asking the skull for its opinion)

(Fury wasn't amused when he found out the skull was taken from the medbay's skeleton model)

(It's called 'Headless Willy' now)

oOoOoOo

Rule #12

Following rule #11, don't take a cactus to school with you

(And then keep insisting it has got a question)

(I got weird stared when I went out of the class)

(And said to the cactus: "I can't believe you embarrassed me _again_!")

(Afterwards the principle called Steve to pick me up)

(Steve wasn't amused to hear what I did)

(Anyone familiar with that German song 'Mein kleiner grüner Kaktus'?)

oOoOoOo

Rule #13

Stop asking Loki to read 'The Red Necklace' for you

(Sure, you can buy the audio book)

(But isn't it better to have the real thing sitting in front of you)

(Reading only for you alone?)

oOoOoOo

Rule #14

Following the previous rule, don't put the one famous part from 'The Red Necklace' over the loudspeaker

(You know, the one with the first man to kiss and to bed you? Yeah that one)

(Seriously, it almost gave every girl an eargasm)

(Even better if you ask Loki to repeat it for you)

oOoOoOo

Rule #15

Following words shouldn't be shouted out randomly

-Noodle

-Bacon

-Nipple

-Penis

(I'm looking at you, Tony)

-Meatball

(Really, they'll just give you a weird look)

(But it's funny though)

oOoOoOo

Rule #16

Don't jump around on the Helicarrier in a sleeping bag

(Sleeping bag jumping racing time!)

(I lost…)

(When asked why we did that, the excuse there weren't any potato bags on board isn't going to work)

oOoOoOo

Rule #17

Skateboards has been banned from the Helicarrier

(Peter)

(He crashed right into Fury)

(It seems like his spider senses are leaving him hanging)

(Schadenfreude)

oOoOoOo

Rule #18

When peter swings around, don't point at him and say "Look, it's Tarzan!"

(He hates that)

oOoOoOo

Rule #19

Clint, stop using Spider-Man as your target practice

(If something happens)

(You'll need one hell of an excuse for Aunt May)

(She's scary when she's mad)

oOoOoOo

Rule #20

The topic masturbating should be avoided around Steve, Thor and Loki

(Although, I think last time Thor contributed to that subject)

(Ew ew ew)

(I was just passing by and caught some words!)

(I swear!)


	3. Chapter 3

**EDIT: OHMYGOD GUYS I'M SORRY I DIDN'T REALIZE I POSTED THIS ON THE WRONG STORY O_O SORRY THAT I CONFUSED YOU GUYS !**

**Happy Halloween to everyone, hope you'll have fun trick or treating (in case you're still doing that :P) ^^**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC Jackie Walker**

* * *

Rule #21

The show '1000 Ways To Die' has been banned

(I think there was a death caused by a carrot)

(Anyway, Thor freaked out when he saw me walking into the room with a carrot)

(He quickly snatched it away from me)

(What? I'm trying to improve my eye sight!)

oOoOoOo

Rule #22

Don't attempt to rap

(And make some gangsta moves to it)

(Clint thinks it looks retarded)

(Peter thinks it looks funny)

oOoOoOo

Rule #23

'Kingdom Hearts' has been banned

(Something about 'too much friendship crap' and 'difference between light and dark')

(I was shocked)

(So was Clint)

(And surprisingly Natasha)

(We three protested against it)

(With demonstration and such)

oOoOoOo

Rule #24

'Alice in Wonderland' has been banned too

(Both old and new version)

(After watching the movies Thor feared we would grow or shrink when we drink/eat)

(The Cheshire Cat creeped Loki out)

oOoOoOo

Rule #25

The Disney show 'JONAS' has been banned

"I'm not really this old. It's a wig and mustache taped to my face!"

(VIVA LA MUSTACHE)

"Have you guys tried sweetpants? There's a lot more… Wiggle room"

(Me to Peter and Steve about their spandex costumes)

"I call it Lo-tatoe chip!"

(There was a chip that looked like Loki from the profile!)

(And then I ate it)

(There was even one time where me and Peter built a front out of empty pizza boxes)

(Of you want to know, Thor ate all the pizzas)

(I gave up after two pizzas)

oOoOoOo

Rule #26

Stop narrating everything the Avengers are doing

("Tony Stark slowly picked up the spoon and carefully poked his pudding")

("Loki, who was hiding himself behind the curtains, peeked over it and stared longingly at the pudding")

(Tony: "Jackie, put down the hairbrush and let me eat my pudding")

oOoOoOo

Rule #27

Stop buying 'Hulk' merchandise and then leave them in front of Bruce's room)

(His room is full of those things now)

(Though I kept the Hulk slippers)

(They're really warm and comfy!)

oOoOoOo

Rule #28

Don't try to teach the Asgardians how to use a cell phone

(Thor only typed with caps lock on)

(And keeps using the emoticons to express his happy feelings)

(Loki is currently obsessed with the game 'Temple Runner')

oOoOoOo

Rule #29

The game 'Hot Seat' has been banned

(TMI- Too Much Information)

(Really, there were things I wish I wouldn't know now)

("How many times have you thought about doing naughty things with Steve?"

(Steve chocked on his coffee)

(While Tony replied casually: "Enough to know it would scare more soldiers than in a battle")

(Having Loki in the Hot Seat is a big no-no)

("Do you ever dream about Jackie?")

(He never replied)

(And I'm left wondering)

oOoOoOo

Rule #30

When cooking, don't pretend to be the host of a cooking show

(I did that when I was making some puddings)

(I didn't know Peter was in the kitchen)

(He's never going to let me live that down)


	4. Chapter 4

**Almost forgot that today is update day... OTL**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC Jackie Walker**

* * *

Rule #31

They guys are banned from watching 'American's Next Top Model'

(Fury said it 'distracts them from their work too much')

(Not really my problem)

(I don't watch it anyway)

(Instead I watch 'Germany's Next Top Model')

(Basically almost the same show)

(Except well, it's in Germany...)

(The only difference between those two shows are the language barrier)

(Well, that didn't really stopped them from watching it with me)

oOoOoOo

Rule #32

Don't make your own 'Avenger's Next Top Model'

(I mean, it's obvious that Natasha is going to win!)

(Until female! Loki appeared out of nowhere)

(Tony voted for him/her)

(He/She/It is not even an Avengers member!)

oOoOoOo

Rule #33

Following response shouldn't be used when someone says "Tell me something I don't know"

"Without the stomach our tummy would digest itself"

(Peter)

"On some planet it's illegal to lick the doorknob"

(Me)

("Hey Thor, is it illegal to lick the doorknob on Asgard?")

"I get the best ideas while masturbating"

(Tony)

(I backed away slowly)

(And then ran)

"I am your father"

(Would you believe that Fury actually said that?)

(Secretly he's a huge Star Wars fan)

(I bet he secretly liked the resemblance between him and Mace Windu)

"Annually a human swallows about ten insects in sleep"

(Loki: "Well, I am a God, not a human")

(I just threw a dead fly at him)

oOoOoOo

Rule #34

Golf car racing has been banned

(Ah remind me of that office chair wheeling race)

(Good times, good times)

(Except when Loki was way too stupid to control the gold car)

(And drove us straight into a lake)

(Me: "Next time, I'm driving")

oOoOoOo

Rule #35

Acupuncture isn't the solution to every medical problem

(And no Loki, acupuncture isn't a form of dark magic)

(So stop saying that it's Voodoo IRL)

(You know, the patient is the voodoo doll)

(And the needles are the voodoo doll needles)

oOoOoOo

Rule #36

When in a battle, don't randomly shout "HEADSHOT!"

(People stopped fighting for a few seconds and stared at me)

(Me: "Don't mind me, just keep fighting.")

(And they carried on with their battle)

(I've played too much shooting-games…)

oOoOoOo

Rule #37

And also, when asked what the battle plan is, don't say "It's over 9000"

oOoOoOo

Rule #38

Following anime series has been banned

-One Piece

(No Thor, there isn't such thing as Devil Fruits)

(And I'm not a rubber man!)

-Detective Conan

(I swear, thanks to that anime I know tons of ways to murder someone and make it look like an accident)

-Beyblade

(Both old and new one)

(I remember those times where I bought Beyblades)

(And wielded battle with Peter)

("Go, Beyblade!")

oOoOoOo

Rule #39

Toilet plungers aren't to be used to climb up walls

(I'm looking at you, Peter)

(You have spider abilities)

(You can climb up the wall with bare hands)

(So why did you have to use toilet plungers?)

(And also, it looks weird if you're holding those things in your hands)

oOoOoOo

Rule #40

Stop grinning like a creep when you see Tony, Steve and Peter together

(That rule is dedicated to me)

(The other's just don't get why I have to giggle at the sight of those three together)

(Oh well, I guess it's better that way…)

(Superfamily FTW)


	5. Chapter 5

**Yeah, almost forgot to update AGAIN. But thank God my sister mentioned fanfiction... **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC Jackie Walker**

* * *

Rule #41

I'm not allowed to wear sock to flip flops anymore

(I don't know why though)

(It was cold, so I had to wear socks!)

(But I didn't want to walk around in socks)

(And there were only flip flops there)

oOoOoOo

Rule #42

When asked to babysit Loki's kids, say no

(Lucky me I only had to babysit one kid)

(It was 'only' the wolf Fenrir, if you want to know)

(At first I expected a badass big bad wolf)

(Instead, Fenrir appeared in the form of a Husky)

(Died of overload cuteness)

(But I SWEAR, he/she/it is a beast to take care of)

(I'm not even going to bother to show you the scratched I received)

oOoOoOo

Rule #43

When Thor asks what a platypus is, don't say "God's little joke"

oOoOoOo

Rule #44

Don't seek out Tony for tutor lesson

(He will use it against you)

(Like 'You owe me a debt because I tutored you')

(Bruce just makes everything more complicated)

(And here I thought he'd be a good tutor)

(I'm not even going to ask Peter)

(Steve already freaks out when we two are in the same room for five seconds)

oOoOoOo

Rule #45

"This bag, it's green."

("No, it's black")

("It's green!")

("Are you fucking blind? IT'S BLACK")

("Green… GREEN!")

oOoOoOo

Rule #46

Don't tell the Avengers about you school's summer festivals

(We had lots of booths with mini games)

(Such as arrow shooting and water gun fight)

(I swear, Clint and Natasha take those things way too serious)

oOoOoOo

Rule #47

No, we're not going to celebrate White Day

(Geez, just because majority of the males get lots of Valentines cards)

(Someone has been reading too many shojo mangas)

(I admit it's my fault that I convinced Tony to read one)

oOoOoOo

Rule #48

"OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!"

(I say that every time when someone annoys me)

(Then they just stop talking and look at me weirdly)

oOoOoOo

Rule #49

When one of the Avengers are driving, stop asking "Are we there yet?" all over again

(Clint got really annoyed)

(Like, really really really annoyed)

(Until the point he just dumped me and Peter on the side of the road)

(In the middle of nowhere)

(Fury wasn't happy when we called him to send someone to pick us up)

oOoOoOo

Rule #50

I'm not allowed to play dating games anymore

(My favorite one is 'Heart no kuni no Alice'!)

(Well, since most of them have a problem with me dating a guy)

(I started to play a dating game)

(I like it so far!)

(No drama, no fights)

(And if things go wrong)

(Just re-load the game)

* * *

**for those who also read 'One Step Aside', since it's over now and I'm not planning a sequel until Iron Man 3 is out, I've uploaded a 100 theme challenge. it's called 100 different steps in life :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC Jackie Walker**

* * *

Rule #51

When there is an attack, don't yell out "I can't die, I'm still a virgin!"

(Transformers reference)

(It's related to the "Quick, sacrifice a virgin" one from the first guideline)

(Again that got me weird stares)

(Didn't help when Loki gave me a suggestive look)

(And said: "I can change that anytime")

(Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to be around him)

oOoOoOo

Rule #52

Do me a favor and stop buying me those Lachsacks

(Translated it means Laughbag)

(It's a stuffed out bag with a face on it)

(And when you press it they make some creepy laughing noises)

(I literally peed into my pants when it started to laugh in the middle of the night)

oOoOoOo

Rule #53

You don't know where Tony's secret stash of alcohols are

(If asked by Pepper)

(Just say you don't know)

(Trust me)

(It will save you A LOT of trouble with Iron Man)

oOoOoOo

Rule #54

Keep the Furby's away from me

(Steve has grown attached to his Furby)

(He once left it in my room)

(And at night it suddenly started to talk)

(And then the battery slowly died)

(And it was chanting something in its satanic voice)

(I couldn't close my eyes that night)

oOoOoOo

Rule #55

Apparently me and caffeine aren't a good mix

(Since I never really liked coffee)

(Tony dared me to drink black coffee)

(Big mistake)

(I was really hyper afterwards)

(And then sleepy…)

(Bruce carries drugs with him)

oOoOoOo

Rule #56

Please refrain from crying during sad moments

(Like in movies)

(Or Anime series)

(Or video games)

(Perfect examples are the game 'Final Fantasy VII Crisis Core' and 'Kingdom Hearts 358/2 day')

(You have no idea how much I cried while playing)

oOoOoOo

Rule #57

Don't blow up condoms and then let them fly across the room

(Tony's penthouse was covered in condoms afterwards)

(Tony: "What Jackie, did you hold a sex marathon or something like that?")

(I swear, he just knows how to turn the table around and make everything that is supposed to be a prank to dead embarrassing)

(For me)

oOoOoOo

(Rule #58

And also, don't fill condoms up with water

(The excuse "We ran out of water ballons" isn't going to work)

oOoOoOo

Rule #59

When watching a movie, don't spoil everything

(That means, no taking a megaphone)

(And shout out what is going to happen before the movie even starts)

(I'm looking at you, Tony)

oOoOoOo

Rule #60

"I see something that you can't see, and it's… [insert an adjective]"

(Thor: "Jackie, I see something that you can't see, and it's… Made of Iron!")

(Me: "Thor, I see something that you can't see, and it's… Horny")

(Take a wild guess who I meant)

* * *

**Man, it feels weird to not update any other stories beside this one :P**

**I'm actually planning to -maybe- take a break from Jackie and -maybe- focus on the other fandoms. 'cause you know, until Iron Man 3 is out is still a long long way and I'm not really the type of author to make up my own plot for a story xD (lack of imagination for that one) **

**So, since I'm kind of into the Assassin's Creed fandom right now, I wanna write a AC story :D (I even started to make up a new OC for that one:P)**

**Any other Ac fans out there who can fangirl with me together about Connor Kenway :3 **


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC Jackie Walker**

* * *

Rule #61

Please, for the love of Odin't underwear and matching pants, do not use chat language in real conversations

(That means you, Thor)

(So stop saying 'Lol' after every joke Clint made)

(It just ruins everything)

oOoOoOo

Rule #62

Don't set the timer to go on every ten minutes

(And then hide them in places where people can't reach)

(Had fun watching them crawling around, looking for the source)

(Even better when the timer's got custom made sounds)

('One Winged Angel' was a good one)

(So is the 'Imperial March')

(Or the Mission Impossible Theme)

oOoOoOo

Rule #63

If there are things in your sandwich you don't like, throw them into the bin

(And not stick them on the wall)

(Like that cucumber piece from my Cheeseburger)

(It's still hanging there…)

(Though it doesn't look like a cucumber anymore)

oOoOoOo

Rule #64

When asked what a boner is, don't answer

(Thor is still not really familiar with Midgardian terms)

(So he asked us what a 'boner' was)

(Tony gladly explained it to him)

(I just lowered my head and continued doing my homework)

oOoOoOo

Rule #65

Family guy has been banned

"My, aren't we fussy tonight? Okay, no broccoli."

(Tony to Bruce)

(Not sure if Bruce was just pretending to be angry)

(Or he was actually really angry)

(Must be the latter one)

(Because well, he hulked out...)

"Jackie, this is a big day for you. Today you become the man of the tower, because when I get home, Pepper is going to kill me."

"Gosh, I'd like to help you, Peter, but uh, I've gotta go out in the hall and chew on the back of my ass for about five minutes."

(He didn't speak to me for a week afterwards)

"Haven't you heard? At midnight tonight, every computer in the world is gonna fail! Planes will fall out of the sky, and all the world's nuclear weapons will explode, annihilating the entire planet!"

(Thor, you're watching way too many apocalypse movies)

"I'm Jackie Walker. Who the hell do you think I am? I'm Death! Which one of you is Peter Parker?"

oOoOoOo

Rule #66

Never dress up like a Grim Reaper

(And then stand outside, waiting for someone to come out of the building)

(It was Loki)

(Try to say "Your time is up" in a really creepy voice)

(Gets him every time)

(Although the last time, he threaten to put me together whit his daughter Hel in room if I did that again)

oOoOoOo

Rule #67

Stop asking Fury to read you a good night story

(Strange thing is, he will read you one)

(But it's always the same story)

('Go the Fuck to Sleep')

(I love this story)

oOoOoOo

Rule #68

Don't mention that the Iron Man suit is starting to rust

(Strangely it really did start to rust)

(And the metal even started to fall off)

(Tony hide himself away)

(No one really knew where)

("Follow the metal chip road!")

oOoOoOo

Rule #69

'Rock, Scissor, Paper' is not the best way to solve problems

(Especially since most of the time we end up picking the same thing)

(And then finally someone won)

(The loser says: "Two wins out of three tries!")

oOoOoOo

Rule #70

I'm not allowed to order a Happy Meal anymore

(They say it's embarrassing for them to order one for me)

(What?)

(Happy Meal is awesome)

(And there is no age limit!)


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC**

* * *

Rule #71

Don't make your own ice hockey field

(Tony had one made on the top of his tower)

(We didn't know why he needed one though)

(Until we saw Loki ice skating there)

(And Tony pushing him off the building)

(I didn't know Loki could ice skate…)

(Last time he couldn't even stand on ice without slipping)

oOoOoOo

Rule #72

Voyeurism isn't a hobby

(So stop spying on me whenever I'm talking to a boy)

(That means you, Steve, Tony and Bruce)

oOoOoOo

Rule #73

The Spiderpig song has been banned

("Spiderpig, Spiderpig! Does whatever a Spiderpig does. Can he swing from a web? No he can't, he's a pig! Look out! He is Spiderpig!")

(And now replace 'Spiderpig' with 'Spiderman')

(Gets Peter every time)

oOoOoOo

Rule #74

Stop insisting that in reality SHIELD is the undercover name of the Jedi Order

(Here we go again with the Star Wars fandom)

(Fury of course gets the honor to be Mace Windu)

(Bruce can be Yoda)

(Because in some way they are both green)

(Loki is Darth Vader)

(Clint could be Luke Skywalker)

(I'm Ashoka Tano!)

oOoOoOo

Rule #75

Like, can we please avoid my name and the world dating in the same sentence?

(You'll get the same reaction out of them like when you mention Loki's name)

(And then the endless flood of question will come)

(Steve even said: "You're not allowed to have a boyfriend until you're eighteen, young lady.")

(That stopped the question others wanted to ask)

(Instead they all just stared at Steve)

(And then agreed with him)

oOoOoOo

Rule #76

Don't paint the fingernails for other people

(Loki actually looked pretty stylish with that green-gold fingernails)

oOoOoOo

Rule #77

If you see someone wearing a tuxedo, don't point at them and the yell "PENGUIN!"

(Something I keep doing at galas hosted by SHIELD)

oOoOoOo

Rule #78

Tables are tables

(And not used to play ping pong)

(Or billiard)

(For ping pong Peter and I just out some books on the middle of the table)

(And for billiard, well…)

(We used as long stick and bottle cappings)

(SHIELD's meeting room has got the best tables for those kind of stuff)

oOoOoOo

Rule #79

Don't poke someone and then pretend it wasn't you

(Such an old trick)

(And yet it always work)

oOoOoOo

Rule #80

Peter and I aren't allowed to go to the bouncy castle anymore

(Not only are we too old for that)

(Apparently we are also too big for them)

(Funny how Peter always sticks on the bouncy castle wall after jumping)

* * *

**IloveitwhenIordersomethingan dtheyarriveearlierthanplanne d**

**Riiight, so I got my copy of Assassin's Creed Forsaken, but I promised to myself that I won't start reading it until I've finished Skulduggery Pleasant (Which I started reading like, two months ago... Seriously, there are still three other books I gotta read xD)**

**So yeah, hopefully I'll be able to work on the ACIII fic soon ^^ Just in case, I've already uploaded a prologue *shameless promoting*, but I think there is a high chance that it may be edited after I've read the book**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC Jackie Walker**

* * *

Rule #81

Don't mow your lawn with a scissor

(Peter thought I had finally lost it)

(I was supposed to help him to mow the lawn in his aunt's back garden)

(I didn't get how to turn on that lawn mover)

(So I simply decided to use a scissor)

(I have to say, I actually did a pretty good job)

(Well, there may be few spots where the lawn is shorter or taller…)

oOoOoOo

Rule #82

Never say that you're carrying Loki's child

(I honestly don't know what I was thinking that time)

(But I somehow convinced Peter to say that)

(The reactions from the others weren't really… Pleasant)

(How was I supposed to know they were going to believe that?)

(But then again, it's Loki we're talking about...)

(He did spawn an eight legged horse)

(After that Peter didn't talk to me for a whole week)

oOoOoOo

Rule #83

Lava lamps has been banned

(Thor didn't stop starting at it for two straight hours)

(He was fascinated by them)

(And bought ten different lava lamps as souvenirs)

oOoOoOo

Rule #84

When someone's counting, don't holler random numbers

(Because it will confuse them)

(Well, actually it only confuses Thor)

(The others are able to ignore my ramblings)

(Months of practice, that's what Clint said)

oOoOoOo

Rule #85

Don't refer everyone as your brother, sister, granpa et cetera

(This one is inspired by Thor)

(Since he keeps saying Brother to Loki)

(I started to do the same)

(Which irritates them a lot)

(Apparently calling Steve Grandpa wasn't a good idea)

oOoOoOo

Rule #86

Dancing like Michael Jackson is a big no-no

(I actually managed to do the Moonwalk flawless)

(When Natasha suddenly walked in)

(And asked if there was something wrong with me)

(I felt insulted)

oOoOoOo

Rule #87

Passing notes during meetings is not a good idea

(Not my fault if Peter and I were sitting really far apart!)

(Try not to get caught)

(Fury will read the note out loud)

oOoOoOo

Rule #88

The Mummy game has been banned

(It's a children party game)

(Basically you have to use toilet paper)

(And wrap someone in it)

(Like a mummy)

(First one who finish is the winner)

(Imagine all the toilet paper chaos afterwards)

oOoOoOo

Rule #89

When comforting Loki, don't mention any of the Avenger's name including Peter Parker

(It was a bad idea)

(He will think that you are 'betraying him')

(And then you have to try something else to comfort him)

(Like stroking his ego)

(Or make him pudding)

oOoOoOo

Rule #90

Axis Power Hetalia has been banned

(I totally got roped in into this fandom)

(Once I had to giggle immaturely while Fury explained to Thor that 'North Italy is in the lower part of Germany')

(They thought I had some serious mental problems)

(Again)

* * *

**Any Instagram user out there :D? anyway, mine is szynka2496 (like always), I sometimes post random sketches, feel free to follow me if you want :3**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC Jackie Walker**

* * *

Rule #91

Don't ask Thor if he knows the difference between a turtle and a tortoise

(Just so you know, I don't know the difference either)

(But I gasped when Thor didn't even know what a turtle was)

(So I proceed to watch with him all the seasons of 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles')

(My favorite Michelangelo plushy went missing afterwards)

(It was never found again)

oOoOoOo

Rule #92

Never stand in front of the mirror longer than three minutes

(They will think you are vain)

(Saying 'Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairiest of them all' isn't going to convince them otherwise)

(I'm looking at you, Tony)

oOoOoO

Rule #93

Super glueing someone isn't a good idea either

(Especially when you super glue them on their seats)

(Tony managed to somehow get up)

(Without his pants)

(It stayed on his seat)

oOoOoOo

Rule #94

Don't use a boxer shorts as a flag and the hoist them high

(Clint actually wondered where his boxer went)

(He wasn't pleased to find it hissed high up on the mast)

(Who knew he had boxers with Chocobo on it?)

(I have one with Moogles!)

oOoOoOo

Rule #95

If you're planning to get a driver license, don't tell anyone about it

(I swear, they're not going to let you go to a normal driving school)

(Instead they attempt to teach you driving by themselves)

(Stuff like how to avoid being shoot while driving or how to make a u-turn without crashing into anything are one the list)

(Honestly, I think they simply don't trust me with a driver license…)

oOoOoOo

Rule #96

Stop complaining about no reading material

(While you're in the process of reading ten books)

(And then go and buy ten other books)

(And then complains again that you don't have anything to read)

oOoOoOo

Rule #97

Nutella has been banned from the Helicarrier

(NOOOOOOOOOO)

(HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT MY TOAST)

(AND PANCAKES)

(AND BREAD)

oOoOoOo

Rule #98

Peter, do me a favor and stay on the ground

(It's really not necessary for you to crawl on the ceiling)

oOoOoOo

Rule #99

Science experiments you did in school shouldn't be done at home

(We mixed potato flour with water)

(Turns out you can walk on it without sinking)

(I told Tony about it)

(The next day he ordered over 300 kg potato flours)

(And poured them into his swimming pool)

(Afterwards we ran over it like a maniac without sinking)

(That is, if you keep moving)

(If you stop, you're most likely going to sink)

(Pepper wasn't impressed to see us covered in that stuff)

oOoOoOo

Rule #100

Mythbuster has been banned

(Guys, when they say 'Don't try it at home')

(Then don't try it at home!)

(And yes, the tower counts as home too)

(Although I'm the one who always tries the stuff from the show…)

* * *

**first chapter of 'the other promise' if finally up guys :) **


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my Oc Jackie Walker**

* * *

Rule #101

Shippingnames shouldn't be mentions and/or explained

(Pepprony, Frostiron, Thunderfrost et cetera)

At first they thought those names would be from some video game characters)

(Until I took the liberty to explain to them what those names exactly meant)

(I'll never forget their faces)

oOoOoOo

Rule #102

Whoever is responsible for this one, stop making shippingnames for me and some other dudes

(I think the one for Peter and me is called Packie…)

(Thank God Peter was too dumb to understand what 'Packie' meant when he heard that)

(I don't think Gwen is all too fond on the name...)

(I was less amused when I found the shipping name 'Lockie' written on a sticky notes on my door)

(I just threw it away)

oOoOoOo

Rule #103

"One little, two little, three little Indians…"

(I randomly started to sing that)

(And them Tony joined me)

(Afterwards Bruce)

(And soon the whole SHIELD base)

(I think even Fury hummed to it)

oOoOoOo

Rule #104

Mangas shouldn't be explained to Steve

(He just don't get them)

(He keeps saying that those funny face expressions in Mangas are weird and unrealistic)

(Although I saw him reading 'Shugo Chara' one…)

oOoOoOo

Rule #105

Magazines aren't good entertainment sourced for the Asgardians

(Remember how Fury said to Loki "Let me know if Real Power wants a magazine"?)

(Months later Loki asked me what a magazine was)

(Too lazy to explain)

(So I gave him a random magazine to read)

(The next day Loki came to me with stupid things like "Did you know that in a half year North America is going to be under water?")

oOoOoOo

Rule #106

Bathing bombs are only to be used for bathing

(And not as munitions while swimming)

(I admit that was my idea)

(Like always)

(Oh well, I had fun throwing at the people in the whirlpool)

oOoOoOo

Rule #107

Don't randomly dye your hair

(Especially don't dye them in jazzy colors)

(Clint chocked on his coffee when he saw me and Peter walking in with neon green and neon pink hair)

(Thor exclaimed that he couldn't see straight anymore because those colors blinded him)

(Tony and Bruce, well…)

(They only smirked since they already knew about this)

(Because Peter and I lost a bet against them)

oOoOoOo

Rule #108

Speaking of jazzy colors, don't paint your room in them

(Again, my choice of colors were neon pink and neon green)

(And again, some people exclaimed they got blinded by them)

(I can't even sleep at night in that room)

(The walls literally glows in the dark!)

oOoOoOo

Rule #109

Longboards has been banned from the base

(Ah ha, longboards are banned)

(But Peter can still skate around on his skateboard?)

(SHIELD logic what the fuck?!)

(Just because I'm not as good on the board as Peter…)

(There's a landmark of me on the Helicarrier!)

oOoOoOo

Rule #110

Speaking of landmark, don't fill mine or repair it

(It's my landmark)

(MINE)


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC Jackie Walker**

* * *

Rule #111

Don't name yourself after alcoholic drinks

(Tony is Rum)

(Bruce is Brandy)

(Clint is Vodka)

(Natasha is Tequila)

(Steve is Champagner)

(Thor is Whishkey)

(And I'm Gin!)

oOoOoOo

Rule #112

Never say that you're bored around Tony/Loki

(Both of them will stare at you first)

(And slowly a smirk will creep onto their faces)

(You will regret that you ever say that)

(Never again…)

(NEVER)

oOoOoOo

Rule #113

The Scooby-Doo movies has been banned

(Sadly we are not going ghost hunting)

(Neither are we getting a dog like Scooby-Doo)

(And no, there isn't such a things as cotton candy monster)

oOoOoOo

Rule #114

It's not a good idea to go up to Loki and say 'I am your father'

(Especially because that's a touchy subject for him)

(So yeah, don't do that)

(But I assure you, nothing bad will happen to you)

(Yet)

oOoOoO

Rule #115

Movie marathons is a bad idea

(Tony rented a whole cinema hall)

(We did a 'Lord of the Rings' movie marathon)

(With all the deleted scenes and director cuts and credits)

(We sat there from 9 p.m. to 10 a.m.)

(Had a huge bowl of popcorn and six bottles of drinks with me)

(Most of the Avengers fell asleep)

(Loki, Peter and I were the only one who watched through everything)

(Had to share my blanket and pillow with them…)

oOoOoOo

Rule #116

"Everyday is St. Patrick's day!"

(Me every time when I see Loki wearing something green)

oOoOoOo

Rule #117

Entering Loki's room at your own risk!

(How the hell was I supposed to know that he sleeps naked?!)

(Or walks out of the shower with now towel around the waist?!)

(Last week I opened the door to his room in the morning without knocking)

(And he was standing there)

(In the middle of his room)

(At first he was surprised to see me)

(But then it morphed into an arrogant smirk)

(As he saw that my head was looking at his lower part)

(He asked: "Where are you looking at?")

oOoOoOo

Rule #118

Don't show Thor and Loki the 'Guiness Book of World Records'

(So many weird, funny and gross records)

(The Asgardians already think of us humans strange)

(No need to proof them more that we are!)

oOoOoOo

Rule #119

Sedatives aren't used for fun

(But it's useful for a caffeine high me)

(And a sugar high Peter)

(Bruce wasn't happy to see Tony holding up the shots with the sedatives)

oOoOoOo

Rule #120

If possible, avoid traffic jams

(Especially if you're sitting in a mini bus with the Avengers inclusive Peter and Loki)

(Tony just wanted to get out and use his Iron Man suit to fly to our destination)

(We had to prevent Thor from using his hammer)

(Peter, Loki and I, sitting in the last row, we just played UNO)


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC Jackie Walker**

* * *

Rule #121

Don't pull off a Mr. Bean

(After I drilled a hole into the wall to get to the bathroom next door)

(And keep taking off the steering wheel from the car)

(Someone took my whole Mr. Bean DVD collection away from me)

(Even my Teddy disappeared)

oOoOoOo

Rule #122

Don't attempt to lift up Mjionir, even if you know it's pointless

(Thor watched from far away how I desperately tried to lift it)

(Then he went up to me and asked why I was doing that)

(Me: "Well, this is my Mjiolnir too. Don't be selfish, we can share.")

oOoOoOo

Rule #123

HIDE ALL THE JUNK FOOD! Uh, I mean, please hand all the junk food over to Bruce

(No seriously, hide them)

(If Bruce gets his hands on them)

(He'll –literally- burn them)

(Something about not healthy at all…)

oOoOoOo

Rule #124

Don't avoid check ups

(Bruce doesn't like it when we skip check ups)

(Peter did that once)

(Bruce just walked into his class and took Peter away)

(I laughed my ass off)

(Peter just glared at me)

(Well, at least Bruce didn't hulk out…)

oOoOoOo

Rule #125

Don't do dumb things in a battle field

(Like running towards the enemies)

(Me)

(It almost gave everyone a heart attack)

oOoOoOo

Rule #126

Don't let Tony take you to any weird places

(The last time he took Peter and me to a strip club)

(Which I find weird)

(Because Peter and I are still minors)

(Therefore we can't even get inside it)

(Until we learned that the strip club was actually owned by Tony)

(Steve freaked out when he found out where Tony took us to)

oOoOoOo

Rule #127

I know that this has been mentioned in the old guideline before, but again, the 'Hangover' has been banned

(Would you believe that it actually happened to them in real life?)

(Clint found out he got married)

(To Natasha)

(Well, instead of a baby Steve found a puppy in the closet)

(Tony lost a tooth)

(Oh, and they couldn't find Peter)

(I'm a bit disappointed that I wasn't there to watch the whole thing…)

oOoOoOo

Rule #128

Apparently it's a bad idea to ask if anyone has watched 'Final Destination3' while going up the roller coaster

(Not only does it make Loki slightly worried)

(It also scared the other passengers)

(Lots of people were giving me the death glare after the ride was over)

oOoOoOo

Rule #129

Don't mix energy drinks together

(Peter+mixed energy drink=run for your life)

(Just… clear a path and go into hiding)

(Trust me on this one)

oOoOoOo

Rule #130

Leave the room when Thor asks the following questions

"What is yaoi?"

(I spit out my tea when he asked that)

(So did Loki)

(Because the other day he asked me what it was)

(I simply showed him some slashs from my favorite yaoi pairing)

"What is hentai?"

(I only continued doing my homework)

(Tony: "Hm, I don't know, let's find that out together shall we?")

(Thor got so owned by that one)

"What is the use of this cotton thing?"

(Thor asked that to us ladies)

(And hold up a tampon)

(Pepper, Jane, Darcy and I awkwardly looked at each other)

(While Natasha kept her poker face)

(And explained in details what tampons are for)

(I'll ever forget Thor's face)


	14. Chapter 14

**Alright guys, someone asked me what the hell happened to the ask blog, and yeah, I honestly have no excuses to say there exept my usual laziness OTL. Anyway, I gone through all the unanswered question and also started to answer some :D **

**So yeah, the blog is alive again. I changed the blog theme, and THE ASK BOX IS OPEN TOO. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC Jackie Walker**

* * *

Rule #131

Remember that not everyone understands my sense of humor

(I'm looking at you, Steve)

(And Loki)

(And Thor)

(The others know by now that I regularly say weird stuff)

(Last time, I chocked on a bacon)

(After a coughing fit)

(I hold up another bacon and glared at it)

(Me: "Bacon! I won't let you kill me!")

(Now Steve makes sure that I won't touch a bacon ever again)

oOoOoOo

Rule #132

The pee pee dance shouldn't be performed on random occasion

(Clint and I have been watching too much 'Sunny With a Chance')

(He can actually do the pee pee dance)

(Not sure if I should be amazed or grossed out)

oOoOoO

Rule #133

It's not a good idea to sing 'All The Single Ladies' when Steve enters the room

(Especially since he's not a lady)

oOoOoOo

Rule #134

Zombieland has been banned

"Oh, America. I wish I could tell you this was still America, but I've come to realized that you can't have a country without people. And there are no people here. No, my friends. This is now the United States of Zombieland"

(Me to Thor when he came to visit us)

(He may or may have not a small panic attack)

"In those moments where you're not quite sure if the undead are really dead, dead, don't get all stingy with your bullets. I mean, one more clean shot to the head, and this lady could have avoided becoming a human Happy Meal. Woulda… Coulda… Shoulda…"

(Me to some new SHIELD recruits)

"You are like a giant cock blocking robot, like developed in a secret fucking government lab!"

(Me to Tony when he interrupted Thor and Jane's cuddle time)

"I used to avoid people like they were zombie before they were zombies. Now they are all now zombies, I kinda miss people."

"My momma always told me someday you'll be good at something. Who'd have guessed that something would be zombie killing?"

(Peter actually said that while we were playing 'House of the Dead')

"Hey, for fuck's sake, enough already! We are being chased by ravenous freaks. Like we don't have enough problems. Oh, they stole my hummer. Oh, we have trust issued. Well get over it! We can't just fucking drive down the road playing 'I spy some shit' for two hours like four normal-ass Americans? Fuck me!"

(Clint had a hard time looking after me and Peter)

(It wasn't helping that we were attacked by SHIELD enemies)

oOoOoOo

Rule #135

Don't play the mime game

("Mime mime mime mime mime")

(They thought I was broken or something like that)

(Then they went to get Tony and Bruce)

(Tony said that there wasn't anything wrong with me)

(While Bruce said: "Jackie says she wants to have dumplings for dinner")

(I have a new mime partner now!)

oOoOoOo

Rule #136

Swag is not a life style

(So stop with it, Peter)

("Swag, swag, swag")

(And stop describing everything as 'swaglicious' or 'swagtastic')

(Is that even a real word?)

oOoOoOo

Rule #137

Water bras has been banned

(Y'know, bras that are filled with waters?)

(Yeah, Jane wore on as a dare that day)

(It then started to leak)

(And the water sprayed out)

(Pepper tried to stop it)

(By groping Jane's boobs)

(At the same time Thor and Tony walked into the room)

(They couldn't stop staring)

(Darcy and I laughed our assess off)

oOoOoOo

Rule #138

Following things shouldn't be said on random occasions

"Annually fifty people die by chocking on a ball pointer pen"

(Afterwards all the ball pointer pens disappeared)

(We found them in Thor's room)

(Fury wasn't happy about that)

"I love you more than my Teddy, but pssst, don' tell him"

(Saying that to Loki is not a good idea)

(My Teddy disappeared again)

"I shall have a fabulous tea party in my tree house and you're not invited)

(Me every time when those so-called adults don't allow me to do anything)

"Pfft, then I'm not going to invite you to my children birthday party"

(This time it was Peter)

(He actually said that to Clint)

"Fuck school. When I grow up I'm going to be a porn star"

(That was me again)

(I said that when I gave up doing my homework)

"Another way to blow your cover is to kill a random civilian in publicity. And trust me when I say how hard it is to resist the urge"

(Loki said that)

(And then smirked maniacally)

(I slowly backed away)

(And then run)

(His laugh is still haunting me)

oOoOoOo

Rule #139

No sending out fake Hogwarts acceptance letters

(I send them to all the Avengers)

(Of course everyone knew they were fakes)

(Although, I think Thor thought it was real…)

(He was like: "Loki, Loki, they remembered me, they remembered me!")

(And Loki just had to ruin everything)

(Loki: "Aren't you a bit too old?")

oOoOoOo

Rule #140

Don't put trampolines everywhere

(Tony's idea!)

(He put on the hallway every three meter a trampoline)

(I could back-flip to the living room and somersault to the bathroom)

(Unless you don't watch out)

(And hit your head on the ceiling)

(Got a nasty bump from that…)

* * *

**yeah, questions you wanna ask, the ask blog is on tumblr: asktheavengersguideline**

**Oh, another note, I have never roleplayed before, though I wanna try it some time. So if anyone wants to RP with me on tumblr, feel free to do it :D might try RP jackei and all the avengers, if i can :P**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC Jackie Walker**

* * *

Rule #141

Don't make facebook/twitter/tumblr accounts for Thor

(He tends to update his status every five minutes)

(Blocked him a hour after I accepted his friend request)

oOoOoOo

Rule #142

The Thunder Buddy Song from the movie 'Ted' has been banned

("When you hear the sound of thunder, don't you get too scared. Just grab your thunder buddy, and say these magic words. 'Fuck you, Thunder, you can suck my dick. You can't get me, Thunder, because you're just God's farts'")

(Loki is my thunder buddy!)

(And we sing this song every time Thor is doing some training)

(Tony sometimes join us too)

oOoOoOo

Rule #143

Quoting the movie 'Ted' is strictly forbidden

"I look like something you give your kid when you tell them Grandma died"

(Me after Tony and Peter somehow convinced me to wear a gothic Lolita dress)

"My daughter better still be alive you sick son of a bitch"

(Tony to Loki after we returned from out LEGOLAND CALIFORNIA trip)

(Imagine my face when he said 'daughter')

(I always thought we had an uncle-niece-relationship)

(Not daughter-father)

"Now if there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that nothing is more powerful than a young boy'y wish. Except an Apache-helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine guns AND missiles. It is an unbelieveably impressive complement of weaponry, and absolute death machine."

(Never going to leave Clint alone with little boys)

(Never ever ever again)

(That boy ran back crying to his mommy)

oOoOoOo

Rule #144

Faking an illness is not a good idea

(You will end up in the med bay longer than intended)

(Ask Peter)

(He knows what I'm talking about)

oOoOoOo

Rule #145

Cooking in the car is highly not recommended

(But not forbidden)

(We were hungry!)

(And since we already went grocery shopping)

(We decided to 'cook' some small dished in the car)

(Tony's car has got lots of ways to heat up things)

(We enjoyed our meal)

oOoOoOo

Rule #146

Reading about the Norse mythology in Loki's presence is not a good idea

(Especially reading the parts about his children)

(Me: "Loki, I have officially lost that little respect what I had left for you")

(My reaction after I read about the snake, horse and wolf)

oOoOoOo

Rule #147

Bowling nights with the Avengers is a big no-no

(Most of them will cheat their way through it)

(Peter, Clint, Tony)

(I tend to throw two bowling balls at the same time)

oOoOoOo

Rule #148

Tickle fights aren't allowed anymore

(I am not responsible for the injuries later)

(I may be laughing while you're tickling me)

(But once you stop, I will kill you)

(I swear)

(By the way, Loki's got ticklish rips)

oOoOoOo

Rule #149

Don't change all the computer language to pirates

(It's hilarious, I swear!)

(Especially watching Steve and Bruce trying to understand what it means)

(Fury understands everything like a pro)

(I bet he secretly want to be a pirate)

oOoOoOo

Rule #150

Before traveling, make sure you always check you got the right stuff

(How I managed to grab Steve's passport instead of mine is beyond me)

(Especially since it's pretty obvious which one is mine and which one is his)

(It didn't help that he had to travel to Europe the next day...)


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC Jackie Walker**

* * *

oOoOoOo

Rule #151

No changing cell phone numbers every time just so you're unreachable

(It's even more fun if you change the numbers to those form foreign countries)

(Cell phone terror)

(Ehehehe)

oOoOoOo

Rule #152

Don't stay up past curfew

(What curfew?)

(I didn't know there was a curfew on the Helicarrier)

(I always thought they have to work 24/7)

(Tony: "The curfew is only for you and Peter")

oOoOoOo

Rule #153

No changing the GPS's voice

(To Spongebob's voice)

(Or Darth Vader's)

(Or Optimus Prime's)

(Or Loki's)

(I wouldn't mind having Loki to tell me the directions though…)

oOoOoOo

Rule #154

I am not allowed to borrow clothes from Peter anymore

(The funny thing about borrowing his clothes is that I never return them)

(What should I say, I look good in his clothes)

oOoOoOo

Rule #155

When a pen is about to run out of ink, don't say the following thing

("There were times I didn't even think you were a pen. But let me tell you this, you were the best writing utensil. The most pen… Pen that I've ever known. And no one will ever convince me that you ran out of ink, so there. I was so alone, writing an essay, and I owe you so much. But please there's just one more thing, one more thing. One more miracle, Pen, for me. Don't be… Dead.")

(I was swept off to the med bay immediately)

(Also, I was told to stop watching BBC Sherlock)

oOoOoOo

Rule #156

'How I Met Your Mother' has been banned

"It was like something from an old movie, where the sailor sees the girl across the crowded dance floor, turns to his buddy and says 'See that girl? I'm gonna marry her someday'"

(Tony said that when I asked him how he actually met Pepper)

(At first I awed at it)

(But then Natasha pointed out that the line was stolen)

"NO! I can't ask him out because if I ask him out I'm ASKING HIM OUT. So how do I ask him out… without asking him out?"

(Me to Bruce, asking him for some advices)

(Still haven't asked him out though)

"Hey, I'm just sitting here. Wearing my ring. My beautiful ring. Kinda makes wearing other stuff seem wrong. Like… My shirt. Kinda don't wanna wear my shirt anymore. Or my underwear. Oh, that's right, I'm not wearing any."

(Natasha)

"Look at us, riding in a limo, eating hot dogs… It's like we're the president."

(Me and Loki 'borrowed' Tony's limo)

(I'm don't think he has noticed that yet)

"Long distance is a lie teenagers tell each other to get laid the summer before college"

(Tony accusing me when I said that I didn't want a relationship with someone who lives on the other side of the globe)

"There are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it is a mistake is to make that mistake and look back and say 'Yup, that was a mistake'. So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake because then you'll go your whole life not really knowing if something is a mistake or not. And damn it, I made no mistakes. I've don't all of this: My life, my relationship, my career mistakes free. Does any of this make senses to you?"

(Clint, I'm sure you made TONES of mistakes)

oOoOoOo

Rule #157

Just because it says it's for free doesn't mean you can take everything

(Me and Peter were in a bookstore)

(And there were book samples for free)

(So we took every free book samples they had)

(Not sure why though)

oOoOoOo

Rule #158

Never ever ever ever say that you have never watched a James Bond movie before and that you're not intending to do one

(Everyone who was in my hearing range were shocked)

(Some were even disappointed in me)

(Clint didn't like that at all)

(He chained me on a chair)

(And had to watch every single James Bond movies)

oOoOoOo

Rule #159

'Roses are red, violets are blue' parodies are banned

"Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm outside your window, watching everything you do"

"Roses are red, violets are blue. That dress doesn't look fat, it's just you."

(Tony said that to me when I walked in with a Gothic Lolita dress)

(I swear, I'm not going to eat anything for the next few weeks!)

"Roses are red, violets are blue. They'll look good on your coffin, when I finally kill you."

"Charmander are reed. Squirtles are blue. If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Your smile is stronger than a Hyperbeam, like Jesse and James we make the perfect team. I'll stay by your side like Pikachu and Ash. I'll love you more than a level 80 Rapidash. You're more legendary than a Zapados, Entei or Mew. But out of all 649, I choose you."

(That's my absolute favorite one)

(If a boy would actually say that to me)

(I'd marry him)

oOoOoOo

Rule #160

The game 'The World Ends With You' has been banned

(Tony said that the 'American version' of the Reapers Game would be in Manhattan, New York City)

(For a long time I tried to collect are the pins)

(Peter didn't stop talking like Sho Minamimoto for a whole week)

("You're so zetta slow!")

(It made me throw a brick at him)

(Even though I love Sho Minamimoto)


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC Jackie Walker**

* * *

Rule #161

Don't name your tools after the Avengers and some other people

(Chaos will ensue)

(And people will wondering what the hell you're talking about)

("Steve, have you seen my Loki?")

(Steve wasn't even sure if he wanted to know what I meant with Loki)

(It was my toothbrush I was looking for)

oOoOoOo

Rule #162

And also, using their names as new swear words is forbidden too.

(Hey, it was Steve who complained about my language)

(So I needed some new swear words)

("Tony, you son of a Loki!")

("What the Hulk, don't touch my food!")

oOoOoOo

Rule #163

When carving pumpkins and taking out the filling, it is strongly recommended not to laugh like a maniac

(Same as the gingerbread men rule in the previous guideline)

(They will question your sanity)

oOoOoOo

Rule #164

I also suggest not to carve some… Strange faces into the pumpkin

(Tony of course carved the Iron Man helmet into the pumpkin(

(Thor went through five pumpkins before he finally gave up)

(There were lots of smashed pumpkins lying on the floor)

oOoOoOo

Rule #165

Don't put toothpaste on the doorknob

(I have no idea what I was thinking that time)

(But Clint's girly shriek was totally worth it)

oOoOoOo

Rule #166

The jets from SHIELD isn't to be used for a joyride to Tokyo

(Hey, Peter and I voted for visiting Shibuya!)

(And strangely Natasha complied with that idea)

(And was already waiting there for us)

(We couldn't make her wait any longer)

oOoOoOo

Rule #167

If you value your life, don't steal a police box from Britain, import it to New York City, paint it blue and then write TARDIS on it

(The major of New York City has got something against Great Britain)

(So imagine his reaction when he saw a TARDIS in the middle of Central Park)

(SHIELD wasn't happy to hear about it either)

(Tony is pointing at me right now for coming up with this absurd and yet genius idea)

(And I'm pointing at Loki for bringing the box here)

oOoOoOo

Rule #168

'Assassin's Creed' has been banned

(Since the release of 'Assassin's Creed III')

(Things have been a bit out of the picture)

(Peter and me were already huge AC fan)

(Tony got roped into it by us)

(And so did Steve)

(Me and Clint have been hiding dinner knives up in our sleeves)

(Pretending that those where hidden blades)

oOoOoOo

Rule #169

Speaking of AC, don't form your own Creed

(Fury said that the Avengers initiative was more than enough)

(No need for more chaos)

oOoOoOo

Rule #170

It's a bad idea to play the music really loud while driving

(We were listening to 'Boom Boom Pow')

(It was late in the night and the streets were empty)

(Imagine how it looked like when suddenly a car drove past you in the middle of the night in nowhere)

(With music playing really loud)


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC Jackie Walker**

* * *

Rule #171

Some things are better left unsaid)

(Like that time where I found a bag of peanuts)

(And then ate them)

(Steve then saw it and told me that before, the peanuts used to be coated in a thin cinnamon layer)

(But Clint licked them all off and left the peanuts in the bag)

(Not a nice experience…)

(Or that time when Bruce used a towel to clean his face)

(And Tony had to tell him that Peter used the towel to clean his sweaty arm pits)

oOoOoOo

Rule #172

It is strongly recommended not to randomly dress up like a goth, visual kei and/or a punk for a week

(Steve almost had a heart attack when he saw me coming through the door looking like a punk)

(Tony said I shouldn't go near his tower in those clothes)

(According to him, it destroys the friendly atmosphere there)

(What friendly atmosphere?)

oOoOoOo

Rule #173

Don't do anything stupid that will end you up in the med bay

(I think Bruce is slowly getting irritated by keeping seeing me there regularly…)

(But that's only because Steve keeps thinking I am serious injured and need treatment immediately)

(Even when it's just a small paper cut)

oOoOoOo

Rule #174

Never stare into empty space with huge lovesick eyes, and then sigh dramatically, saying: "Loki is so dreamy…"

(Chances that they think you got mind controlled are very highly)

(On top of that, you will be locked in the med bay for a whole week)

(Peter, you owe me big time for this one)

oOoOoOo

Rule #175

Following the previous rule, don't say 'I need a better host body' in a demonic voice and the look at someone creepily

(Steve actually backed away slowly from me when I stared at him)

(And then he ran away)

(Bruce said he saw Steve talking to an exorcist)

(I'm worried about my life now)

oOoOoOo

Rule #176

Just like you're not allowed to use their names as swear words, you cannot use their name as a verb

(Me: "Oh my God Bruce, stop tonying here around)

(Tony: "Are you done steveing me a lesson)

(Thor: "LOKI'D! YOU GOT LOKI'D")

oOoOoOo

Rule #177

The metronome is only to be used for practicing

(And not like, for annoying Bruce)

(I'm looking at you, Tony)

(The constant regular ticking is putting him under pressure)

(Plus Steve thought it was a bomb)

oOoOoOo

Rule #178

School events shouldn't be mentioned to the Avengers

(The other day we had a job day)

(And they asked me what I want to do later in my life)

(Well, to be honest, I didn't know)

(So I asked the Avengers for advice)

(Basically, Bruce and Tony suggested becoming a scientist)

(Steve said that being a soldier isn't that bad at all)

(And Natasha said I should have started with my combat lesson a long time ago)

oOoOoOo

Rule #179

Don't write into every notebook you see 'How did you come by my diary?'

(Loki kept wondering who the hell Tom Riddle was)

(He didn't get any answers though)

(The best part was when Peter opened his calculator)

(And it said 'Hell. My name is Tom Riddle. How did you by my calculator')

oOoOoOo

Rule #180

Don't make truck drivers honk and wave at you

(Clint HATES that)

(Because he's got something against trucks)

(A reason more to do that)

* * *

**regarding to the ask blog:**

**Well, I guess I tend to alway leave ti dead for a while when i have answered a certain amount of question, and then i get lazy OTL;;; **

**Anyway, the ask box is always open, and I'll try to answer few questions again xD **

**i guess i just need a push and/or a reminder sometimes...**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC Jackie Walker**

* * *

Rule #181

Tampons aren't to be used to stop nose bleeding

(Thor had nose bleeding)

(And we didn't have any tissues)

(So I offered him some tampons)

(Steve and Loki's face were priceless when they walked into the room)

oOoOoOo

Rule #182

Stop interpreting everything in a sexual way

(This conversation happened recently)

(Me: "Loki, do you have a magic pencil?... Okay that sounded just so wrong")

(Loki: *Looks at me smirking* "Yes, indeed I have one. Do you have one?")

(Me: "No, but I have a magic sharpener")

(After Bruce and Steve heard that they forbade me to talk to Loki ever again)

oOoOoOo

Rule #183

Never walk around while kneeing, and then using your arms as wings, saying "Look, I'm a pigeon"

(I almost wet myself laughing when Peter did that)

(Bruce was alarmed)

(And quickly took him to the medbay)

(I still wonder what he was thinking that time)

oOoOoOo

Rule #184

Don't start an argument about where Santa Clause actually lives

(I was sure Santa Clause lives at the Northpole)

(Natasha said he lives in Russia)

(Peter heard he lives in Italy)

(At the end we googled his home)

(Turns out Santa Clause lives somewhere in Lappland)

(Never heard of that place before)

oOoOoOo

Rule #185

Coming in partner looks to a meeting isn't always a good idea

(The superfamily decided to come in partnerlook)

(So basically, we had three Captain America sitting at the table)

(The last time it was three Spider-Man)

(I'm still waiting for the Iron Man costumes…)

oOoOoOo

Rule #186

It's a bad idea to fall asleep on a trampoline

(I'm looking at you, Clint)

(We were on the beach)

(And there was that HUGE trampoline)

(Clint simply lied down and fell asleep)

(While Peter, Tony, Thor and I jumped up and down like crazy)

(What we didn't know that due our constant jumping)

(Clint fell off the trampoline)

oOoOoOo

Rule #187

It is forbidden to put things in the middle of the hallway

(Like marbles)

(Or needles)

(Or oil)

(Or a sleeping Clint Barton)

(No one likes to trip over him)

(My question was how no one can see that sleeping assassin in the middle of the hallway)

oOoOoOo

Rule #188

Again, song parodies are BANNED

"I remember when I met Steve  
The first time  
Asking 'Wow, are you Chris Evans'  
'Cause like  
You look a lot like him  
And he said 'No, I'm not'  
What?  
Then Coulson knocked on my door  
Saying  
'Jackie, we're from SHIELD and we need you to come with us'  
No choice  
Rememberign seeing Stark's Tower on that day  
I say 'Oh wow, where is Steve and Peter, the superfamily'  
Oh oh oh oh oh  
I got on the Helicarrier  
But listen, I'm telling you, I'm telling you  
I will never ever ever forget that day  
I will never ever ever forget that day  
I met Loki, and Thor and Bruce and Fury  
I will never ever ever forget that day  
Like, ever"

(Yeah, it's a catchy song)

oOoOoOo

Rule #189

Don't announced proudly that you have seen naked photos of someone

(The other day me and Peter were browsing photos from Tony as a kid)

(And there few of Tony as a three years old bathing in crystal-clear water)

(So the next day, we went up to Tony and said)

("We saw you bathing yesterday")

(Steve dropped his coffee when he heard that)

(While Tony remained cool)

(And asked: "Like what you two saw?")

oOoOoOo

Rule #190

If you're asked to do your chores, just do them

(Last time I was asked to sweep the floor)

(For whatever reason)

(Instead I pretended to be a sorcerer and tried to bring the brooms alive)

(With 'L'apprenti Sorciere' running in the background)

(Fury wasn't when he saw that the floor was still dirty)

* * *

**Kudos for those who can guess which song I used for this parody x) **

**oh yeah, some people asked me about the first one in the first guideline. THe song i used that time was Party in the USA :P**

**also, DID ANYONE READ THOSE MAJOR SAD LOKI SPOILER ON TUMBLR?! gosh, it makes me want to skip writing Thor 2... **


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC Jackie Walker**

* * *

Rule #191

Things you shouldn't do during winter

Lick ice covered metal

(Thor, Peter, Clint)

(Loki doesn't know that problem)

(What were you guys thinking?)

Slide down the stairs and then through the open door with a sled

(I shouldn't have watched 'Home Alone')

(Although it was damn funny)

(Though Peter landed hard on ice)

Eat ice cream

(It's really not a bad thing)

(It's just that Bruce thinks you shouldn't eat ice cream when it's cold)

(Because you might catch a cold)

(Or something like that)

Spray the stairs outside with water

(Again movie inspired)

(We did that with the Stark Tower's stairs)

(And watched Fury walking up the stairs)

(Never in my life I'd imagine to see him tripping)

(And then trying to stand up again)

(And then tripping again)

(JARVIS has the whole tap of it!)

oOoOoOo

Rule #192

It is highly recommended not to write in Tengwar

(I'm proud to say that I know how to write it)

(Thought it took me a long time to memorize the symbols)

(Loki didn't even need five minutes to learn it)

(People keep wondering what the hell we're so secretive about)

oOoOoOo

Rule #193

We are not allowed to read our horoscopes anymore

(Let's face it)

(Most of the things written on it are bullshit)

("Be more patient and you might find the love of your life)

(Pfft, as if)

(I think my horoscope is just making fun of me)

(But Steve's horoscope was the best!)

("Perhaps it is time for you to find your soulmate and settle down")

oOoOoOo

Rule #194

We are not to play Ping Pong in groups anymore

(You know)

(Walking around the table)

(And then hit back the ball)

(Until there are only two people left?)

(Yeah, some people take it way too serious)

(Clint keeps letting out a mad victory shout when he gets into the final round with Natasha)

oOoOoOo

Rule #185

Adventure Time is now forever banned

(Honestly)

(I haven't been that scared of a cartoon since 'Courage the courageous dog')

(Princess Bubblegum gave me a whole new outlook on the color pink)

(I'm a big fan of the Ice King)

(Because he write FANFICTIONS)

(ABOUT GENDERBLENDED VERSION OF FINN AND JAKE)

(WHAT DO YOU NEED MORE?!)

oOoOoOo

Rule #196

Trampoline and playing basketball is not a good combination

(No matter what)

(I couldn't reach the basket)

(So I decided to use a trampoline to get to it)

(I reached it!)

(Though after that I was too chicken to let go)

(Steve wasn't happy to see me hanging there)

oOoOoOo

Rule #197

Do not build a blanket fort

(No matter how cool it is)

(But the Avengers complained about missing blankets and pillows)

(And eventual tables and chairs)

(They were not happy when they found it outside the Helicarrier)

oOoOoOo

Rule #198

Drive thru are for cars only!

(So don't build a car out of boxes)

(Or sit on Iron Man and order things through the drive thru)

(Or simply standing there to order you food)

(Just because the line inside was too long)

oOoOoOo

Rule #199

Don't make your own '101 ways to die' list

("Grab Thor's cape while he's flying through a storm")

("Stay in the science lab")

("Bungee jumping from the Helicarrier")

("Eat Loki's pudding")

(Boy was mad when he found out Thor ate the last pudding)

oOoOoOo

Rule #200

Don't get a present for everyone on International Women's Day

(I guess Steve didn't found it funny when Tony also got him a rose on International Women's Day)

(I handed Peter his two months late birthday gift on that day)

(And said: "Happy International Women's Day")

(Needless to say, it was embarrassing)

(Well Loki…)

(He simply turned himself into a woman and received tons of gifts and roses)

* * *

**heya guys!**

**Iron Man 3 is coming out soon and naturally i plan to write a fanfiction about it with Jackie :P but for now, I'm in the process of rewriting 'One Step Ahead' and 'One Step Aside', like adding more scenes, changing few things here and there and so on.**

**And I was wondering if anyone of you are interested in perhaps beta reading the rewritten chapters? like, correcting grammar (!), and pointing out some things for me i could make better... **

**PM me if you're interested! **


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC Jackie Walker**

* * *

Rule #201

The five seconds rules shouldn't be performed in front of Bruce

(Thor did that when I dropped one or two Tic Tac)

(Bruce almost flipped out when he saw that)

(I think Thor would have even picked it up and ate it if it had laid there for more than five seconds)

(Anyway, Bruce then proceeded to tell Thor to spit that Tic Tac out)

(The God refused to do it)

(Banner then hulked out)

(And well, things got violent)

oOoOoOo

Rule #202

We're not allowed to celebrate Smyngus Dyngus anymore

(Because no one likes to be sprayed with water at every possible moment)

(I don't anyone went completely dry home)

(I was the most wanted victim)

(Because unlike the others)

(I don't know how to defend myself)+

oOoOoOo

Rule #203

Bruce has asked us nicely to meow to songs

(Oh man, that was fun)

(We listened to lots of classical songs)

(Stuff like Bach and Mozart and Beethoven)

(And instead of humming along to it we meowed to it)

(In less than ten seconds I was joined by Peter and Tony)

(Even Loki participated in it)

(Bruce couldn't work in silence anymore)

oOoOoOo

Rule #204

No one is allowed to have a pet

(Me and Loki agreed to raise couple of goldfishes)

(The first month we took a lot of care)

(And made sure that the aquarium was clean and the fishes were feeded)

(But then we started to care less about them)

(And then I returned from a one week trip)

(The goldfishes weren't there anymore)

(When I confronted Loki about it)

(He said he gave them to Tony)

(I'm not comment on that)

oOoOoOo

Rule #205

Don't randomly decide to paint your face

(And then claim that those are war paints)

(After that one cutscene with Connor Kenway)

(I was so obsessed with painting my face)

(Everyone pretended that they didn't know me)

oOoOoOo

Rule #206

Don't start a 'You're so fat argument'

(Me: "You're so fat your clothes has got stretch marks")

(Thor: "You're so fat a painting of you takes up for frames")

(Me: "You're so fat you need to buy to airline tickets")

(Thor: "You're so fat you could he Volstagg's sister")

(Me: "You're so fat that the moment Loki enters the room the whole room is going to shake")

(Strangely Loki really did enter the room)

(Followed by a short lived earthquake)

(I guess never in Thor's life did he wanted to kill me so much)

(By the way, I found out the earthquake came from the science lab)

oOoOoOo

Rule #207

Quoting 'The Penguins of Madagascar' has been banned too

("Excuse me, hammer whose head exactly?")

(Thor)

(Everyone started to point at someone else)

("Oh, why do the bad guys always get the good stuff?")

(Believe me Peter)

(I've been asking myself the same question)

("Of course! It's the salt. The sodium granules released from the pretzel cart into the convective cloud layer must have sparked a freezing nucleation reaction and BOOM! Instant rain.")

(That got me some really impressed look from Tony, Bruce and Peter)

(Since they all know how bad I'm in chemistry)

(I guess there's no need to tell them I got it from a cartoon serie…)

("So we're stuck with the stupid Tony, well maybe it's a good thing. I mean we were all getting tired of his big high, fleeting words like recalcitrant, right? I mean, what is that? Recalcitrant. Do I like recalcitrant to you?"

(I still have no idea what that is, by the way)

("One mistake little friend, we are like the three musketeers, except there are four of us and we're all a bit weird and in no way French, but the same team mentality applies")

(Me on a survival trip with the superfamily)

(I wasn't a big help to them)

oOoOoOo

Rule #208

We're not allowed to post the footage of Steve dressed up as a girl dancing and singing around

(the things I find on Tumblr)

(The fact that Steve actually did that is just so damn worth it)

(I mean, no one saw that it was a man until they read the comments!)

(Well, now we know for sure that Steve would be a pretty lady)

oOoOoOo

Rule #209

Don't replace white board marker with permanent markers

(My idea)

(Big trouble when Peter and I played Bingo on the white board)

(And then tried to erase it)

(Fury wasn't happy to see that)

(We were doomed with scrubbing it off)

(My arms still hurt)

oOoOoOo

Rule #210

'Les Miserables' has been banned from the movie list

(After the movie)

(I wanted to build a barricade)

(Like really bad)

(In the middle of the streets of New York City)

(I actually did that)

(With the help of Thor )

(And Loki)

(Thought after that we couldn't find Peter anymore)

(He was somewhere stuck IN the barricade)

(Between all the furniture)

* * *

**Beta reader found, and first chapter has been replaced already :)**

**also, RIP Loki's hair**


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC Jackie Walker**

* * *

Rule #211

In addition, the songs from the musical 'Les Miserable' aren't to be sung at random

(Last meeting we sang 'Red and Black')

(I think Tony started it)

(And I just jumped in)

(And yesterday)

(When I was in the subway with Peter)

(He started to sing 'Do You Hear the People Sing')

(I was actually surprised all the passengers joined him singing)

oOoOoOo

Rule #212

Also, when Loki introduces himself by saying 'I'm Loki of Asgard', no one is allowed to stand up and say loudly in a singing voice 'My name is Jean Valjean'

(I did that actually)

(And then Fury stepped into the room)

(Saying 'And I'm Javert')

(I actually pissed myself in my pants)

(From laughing so hard)

oOoOoOo

Rule #213

Jelly Beans aren't to be used as an oracle or fortune telling

(I purchased a book called 'The Jelly Bean oracle')

(Basically you have to pull out four or five random Jelly Beans out)

(And based on the color you look up in the book what it says)

(Bruce was slightly worried when he saw me buying five bags of Jelly Beans…)

(My oracle just told me that I'm going to fail my math test tomorrow…)

oOoOoOo

Rule #214

Don't come up with the idea to make your own web show

(Me and Darcy)

(I guess the iCarly marathon didn't do us any good)

(Now even a week later we started with our web show)

(Pepper is our camera man)

(Or camera woman, in this case)

(Well, most of our special guests were of course the Avengers)

(Tony enjoys a lot to be in front of the camera)

(Not even three days later we had over a million views)

(Needless to say it was a huge success)

(But it was banned once Darcy and I decided to film some scenes on the Helicarrier)

(Yeah, Fury didn't approve of that)

oOoOoOo

Rule #215

Don't randomly decide to start dancing Tango

(We got invited to a real fancy restaurant for dinner)

(And when the main dish came)

(Natasha and Clint suddenly got up and started to Tango around the restaurant)

(I'm still wondering if this was some code for a assassination)

(They don't want to tell me anything!)

oOoOoOo

Rule #216

We're not allowed to play MASH during the meetings anymore

(MASH as in 'mansion, apartment, stall, house')

(You know we are really bored when we start to play MASH)

(It actually ended up in a rather violent argument)

(Like Bruce suddenly jumped up and complained why he had to live in a stall and only drive a smart car)

(I think he took it way too seriously)

oOoOoOo

Rule #217

We all know that being parents is very hard

(Or at least I always say that when it comes to the subject responsibility)

(Once in Health Class each one got a small flour bag)

(And we had to pretend that it was our child)

(And we had to feed it et cetera)

(I didn't take it all too serious)

(I just know that during a mission I actually took it with me for no reason)

(And Steve just grabbed it)

(Threw it at the enemies)

(Sparked a small fire)

(And then everything exploded)

(There goes my flour bag child)

oOoOoOo

Rule #218

Psycho tests from magazine shouldn't be taken all too serious either

(Peter found the hidden stack of teenage magazines once)

(Needless to say we spent the whole weekend browsing through the psycho tests)

(And answering all the questions)

(According to one I'm rather the 'timid-girlfriend' and I 'shouldn't be too afraid to make the first step')

(And according to another psycho test)

(Peter is the 'type of girl who prefers the girly fashion')

oOoOoOo

Rule #219

When putting the clothes into the wash machine, always check if there's something in the pockets

(Was I happy when I found 100$ falling out from my jeans pocket)

(Though once I accidentally put a toilet paper roll into the wash machine)

(Huge mess with the clothes)

(Had to re wash them)

oOoOoOo

Rule #220

Don't change someone's clothes to a size smaller

(With Peter's help)

(Tony did that with Steve's clothes)

(Over a single night they manage to swap all his clothes to a size smaller)

(Steve was slightly confused the next day)

(He kept wondering if he should stop eating so mean brownies)

(And start exercise more)

* * *

**okay, so i finally watched Iron Man 3 :D **

**i have to confess though I'm struggling with how to put Jackie into the movie plot, since i realized that a majority is just explosion explosion and well, more explosion**

**but yeah, i will start writing once I have finished rewriting the other stories :)**


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC Jackie Walker**

* * *

Rule #221

When people tell you to wake up, just do as they say

(I had to experience the hard way)

(Clint actually put Peter's sock into my mouth)

(A used sock)

(That's hasn't be washed for days)

(I can still taste it)

(Bah)

oOoOoOo

Rule #222

When using the public transport, it is strictly forbidden for us to play dares

(Fun times fun times)

(Clint dared me a lot of times to ask for people's number)

(I still have them all written somewhere!)

(I think there are over ten numbers from guys I've never met before)

(But it was also fun to dare Clint to steal the woman's hat)

(He was actually a bit scared to do that)

(It was hilarious to watch him getting yelled by her)

oOoOoOo

Rule #223

Using old socks to make puppets out of them is also forbidden

(After the voodoo doll incident)

(No one liked to see another puppet of them)

(Especially if they were made of their own socks)

(Bruce complained that all his white socks disappeared)

(Tony even had to appear with two different socks to a meeting)

oOoOoOo

Rule #224

No one is allowed to say 'BADUM TSS' anymore

(It may be fun at the beginning)

(But later it will only get on their nerves)

(Fury: "This global issue has been one of SHIELD's older cases. And even though there are lots of hints and evidences, it still cannot be solved)

(Me: "Badum tss")

(In addition, don't even think about using two pens as drum sticks and attempt to copy those noises by hitting the table)

oOoOoOo

Rule #225

Do not pretend to have any phobias

(The result will be either overprotective Avengers)

(Or douchebags trying to scare you via said phobia)

(I once pretended that I had Agyrophobia)

(The fear of crossing streets)

(Thor had to carry me to the other side)

(Natasha actually even pretended to have Androphobia)

(The fear of man)

(I nearly pissed myself everytime Clint tried to approach Natasha)

(And she just acted like she was shit scared of him)

(Clint was worried that he had done something to her)

(But the best was when Peter pretended to have Arachnephobia)

(The fear of spiders)

(I guess everyone thought he had finally lost it)

(He pretended he was scared of himself)

oOoOoOo

Rule #226

Don't tie a bell to someone

(We tied on Bruce)

(He didn't know that though)

(So I guess he almost went insane when he kept hearing the chiming sound of bells)

(Good he hadn't hulk out yet…)

(We also managed to tie one on Loki)

(So every time when he appeared into a room)

(We just knew it was going to be him)

oOoOoOo

Rule #227

Weeping Angels are not real, Weeping Angels are not real

(Too much _Doctor Who_ on one weekend)

(I don't even have the guts to walk out of the door anymore)

(Without having the fear that a Weeping Angel was nearby)

(I swear they really exist!)

(It didn't help when Tony hacked into my laptop)

(And changed my background)

(So that every second it changed the image)

(Of a Weeping Angel nearing you)

(My scream could be heard in the whole neighborhood)

oOoOoOo

Rule #228

Also, don't even attempt to invent a Sonic Screwdriver

(I only have a plastic one)

(Though it is already cool enough)

(But Peter somehow convinced Tony to try to make a real one)

(Strangely he agreed to it)

(Now I haven't seen him for a long time)

(One second though)

(It wouldn't surprise if he really managed to invent one)

(I can only imagine the chaos that will appear afterwards)

oOoOoOo

Rule #229

Diapers are only for babies

(Maybe it was just me)

(But I swear everyone in SHIELD were wearing diapers that day!)

(Clint: "Now that I have man-diapers, I don't need to go to the restroom during battles, because I can pee straight into my pants)

(Even Steve wore one!)

(Tony has got a photo of it hanging in his bedroom…)

oOoOoOo

Rule #230

_Dungeon and Dragons_ has been banned

(I was surprised when Steve proposed to play it)

(Because when I thought it was a video game at the beginning)

(I was slightly disappointed to find out it was actually a board game more or less)

(Where you have to keep notes and stuff)

(But boy, was that a good game!)

(Unlimited imagination)

(Unlimited creativity)

(Unlimited way to kill of your friends)

(Afterwards Steve was wondering if it wasn't a bad idea to show me the game)

(He wanted to play it so I would stop playing violent games)

(The plan backfailed epically)

* * *

**I missed the one year anniversary of the first guideline which was one the 29.5 haha OTL;;;**

**Anyway, prologue of my new story is up, it's called Two Steps Forward :D**


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